I'm Done

I tried to quit, I thought I could pull a Jonah and run away from what I knew God was calling me to do, I came up with excuses, I pursued my own selfish desires and chose a life I thought would provide me with true happiness.

I thought maybe just maybe if I ignored God and walked away from this that maybe He’d just forget about me and let me “enjoy my life” or at the very least be content with where I was at but that didn’t happen, I forgot that God doesn’t give up on His children and if there’s a plan that He has for you then He will continue to work in your life and tug at your soul, He will do whatever it takes to open your heart and eyes to what He has planned. God will NEVER give up on you so why do we try so hard to give up on Him? Why do we think our wants or desires are..should be more important than His calling or purpose for our life? Do we truly know what we need more than our Heavenly Father does?

Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

I know it’s not easy and truth be told living the Christian life and pursuing God by being faithful and following the path that He set’s before you is not easy but boy is it rewarding, maybe not right away and maybe not in the way that you expect. Your purpose, your love for God or your faith shouldn’t be about a “feel good” experience, it should be the core of why we choose to follow Him. The emotions we feel through our faith shouldn’t be our sole purpose of following God. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that living the Christian life should make us feel good, so why do we try so hard to twist God’s word and His purpose to make us feel good and seek after that feeling?  God reminds us through His Word that nothing in life, no feeling or temporal pleasure, will ever come close to the joy we’ll experience when we truly love God and are living for Him. It is through that relationship we have with Him that we will ever experience true joy and satisfaction. 

So on that note I’m done. I’m done being selfish and running away from what I know God has called me to do. I’m done living for me and seeking after temporary pleasures. I’m done hiding in the shadows and waiting for a better tomorrow. I’m done thinking I know what’s best for my life and ignoring God when He speaks or tries to work in my life. I’m done with being content or stagnate in my Christianity. I’m done with the feel good and reaching out to the one who offers true joy, the one who offers true hope and satisfaction. If you’re still here, living and breathing, it’s never too late to turn back to God, you still have a chance and an opportunity to make a difference not just in the world but in your own life, you still have a chance to improve and grow in your relationship with God. I know the world is chaotic at the moment and it may seem easier to hide from it all or fill your life with distractions but that temporary fix or distraction isn’t going to bring you happiness, the only way you’ll experience true joy is in the arms of Jesus.

God has given us all a second chance, a new year to be better and do better than the last, to make wiser decisions, to be more loving and caring, to be a better witness and testimony, to grow and build long lasting relationships, to spend more time daily in the Word and through prayer, more time to be focused on actions that’ll make a difference not just today but for eternity.

Let’s be clear on one thing here, this is something that I’ve prayed and fasted on and discovered that needs to change in my own life, something I have discovered and I personally need to work on. I’m not saying to go home and rid your life of all your entertainment or give up anything that may seem like a distraction or that your purpose is the same as my own but what I am saying is when we put something before God it becomes an idol and we slowly start to focus more on that and less on God and then next thing you know you’re distancing yourself further and further from Him. There’s nothing wrong with having entertainment or activities in your life as long as everything is done in moderation. I’m not in control of your life; your desires, your purpose, your goals and dreams are between you and God and if you have a significant other or a family then it’s also something that needs to be worked out with them but ultimately your purpose and direction in life is between you and God. Whatever it is that’s holding you back from truly pursuing God, weather it be fear or selfishness or fill in the blank; pray, seek counsel from a pastor or mentor, find someone that will help keep you accountable and turn to the Word of God. Life isn’t meant to be conquered alone and when we struggle, which we will, God will always be there to offer a helping hand either through His word or by putting people in your life that will help offer support and love because God knows what we need and just when we need it. I’m beyond thankful for those that have continued to pray for me and continued to keep me accountable in my walk with God, and I’m thankful for a God who has never given up on me and who’s love and direction never fails.

Colossians 3:23-24 reminds us that “Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”

My work here isn’t finished mostly because this isn’t my work but God’s work, it is something I know that God has done and will continue to do through me as long as I give Him a chance and it’s time I stopped running away from what God has called me to do and start giving it my all. It’s time for me get out of the whale and return to Nineveh. I know what my calling is, I know what my purpose is and what God has desired from me and I’m not giving up on that. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get here; let’s not forget that not one of us is perfect, including myself, but I shouldn’t have ignored God and His direction. This is what He has called me to do and I’m recommitting myself today to sharing what God lays on my heart through this ministry. God has given me a gift just as He has given you a gift, don’t let that gift go to waste. Stop running from the truth and starting pursuing the Lord, it’s never too late to turn back to God and make that choice to serve Him whole heartedly with your life. 

📍Lake Wenatchee